


Lonely Birthday

by That_Adorable_Fox



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru Share a Body Simultaneously, Isolation, Kamukura Izuru Has Feelings, Kamukura Izuru Is Bad At Feelings, Loneliness, Nonbinary Kamukura Izuru, Other, Sneaking Out, Sort of? - Freeform, Trans Hinata Hajime, lmao Izuru’s a rebel, sorta but not rly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:21:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28972752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Adorable_Fox/pseuds/That_Adorable_Fox
Summary: Hajime had successfully repressed Izuru Kamukura. (No he didn’t)Or,Izuru steals the body for a night of loneliness and uneaten cake.
Relationships: Class 77 & Hinata Hajime
Comments: 4
Kudos: 74





	Lonely Birthday

Hajime had successfully repressed Izuru.

The voice that was always in his head, always saying how dreadfully bored they were, was gone. 

It took fighting, so much ignoring, and many nights of taking pills just to fall asleep before Izu- Kamukura could interrupt his thoughts and keep him awake.

It was… nice. He could think without someone talking back to him. He didn’t need to have fights with himself everyday, he wouldn’t spend hours dissociated anymore. It was so peaceful, and he loved it.

Somewhere in his heart, he knew it was wrong, suppressing Kamukura like that. But he just couldn’t help it. Whenever that voice was in his head, whenever they started coming towards the front, he would get wave after wave of flashbacks and despair from...that time. He was _terrified_ of not only Kamukura, but what they could do to him if they so desired. And now that they were gone, it was peaceful, calm. 

“Yo, Hajime! Hurry your ass up, everyone’s waiting for you in the restaurant!” Fuyuhiko knocked on the door to Hajime’s bathroom. 

“Hold on- it’s hard getting this Yukata on.” Hajime rolled his eyes, finished getting dressed, and stepped out. Fuyuhiko smirked at him. 

“You look great. Now c’mon, only ten minutes until your birthday, and the new year.”

Hajime followed the shorter boy out of his cabin and down to the restaurant. Teruteru had whipped up a huge cake for Hajime’s birthday, as well as the new year. Hajime could practically hear Mikan’s terrified shrieks from the sparkler candles.

He smiled, feeling at peace as he walked up the stairs behind Fuyuhiko

* * *

Izuru woke up carefully. They looked down at themselves and found that Hajime was still dressed in his Yukata from the celebration only...five hours earlier. They went to take it off and dress in something more...secure, when they noticed the chest binder that Hajime had also left on. They internally rolled their eyes, Hajime had to be more careful with it. They slipped it off, trying to ignore the twinge of dysphoria that came with it. They hoped it wasn’t enough to wake Hajime’s consciousness, not yet.

They slipped on a sweatshirt and a pair of shorts and left the cabin quietly. It felt odd, not having their long hair swishing around their ankles. The comfortable weight that hung from their head and disguised their scar was gone. 

The wood was cold from the night air under their feet. They walked to the beach, staring out at the ocean as they walked. The water licked their bare feet, sending a cold tingle up into their ankles. 

After a bit of walking, Izuru sat beneath one of the palm trees. They leaned back and sighed, looking up at the moon. It was in it's waxing phase, they thought. Only half full. It shone down on the ocean’s calm waves, creating shadows on the water as it lapped at the shore, leaving behind small stones, bits of shell, and more sand. The wind was warm, as it swept delicately across the beach. The palm tree’s leaves rustled softly, along with Hajime’s hair. 

A muted, repressed feeling of sadness coated them. When would they be able to witness such a sight again? If Hajime’s consciousness were to wake up in the middle of them roaming the island, or if someone were to spot them and ask Hajime about it the next day, he would be extremely unhappy. Perhaps he would alert the others of Izuru’s walks, and tell them to stop Izuru if they saw them. There wasn’t much else Hajime could do besides ignore him more, but it would hurt either way.

Heh… them. Hurt. They had no feelings to be hurt, no heart to be broken. They were emotionless, bored. That’s what they were taught.

That’s what Hajime thought, too. And the others. The Remn- Hajime’s friends. 

Then, why did tears pool in their eyes at the thought of being alone again, just like he was for those awful years at Hope’s Peak? Being confined in a mind was much different than being confined in a room, but he didn’t like it either way. They pulled their -no, _Hajime’s_. This was Hajime’s body, they were just an intruder- legs to their chest, gulping down the nauseous, dysphoric feeling that came with it before they could vomit, and let their tears fall. 

It was a silent act. There was now wailing, no sobbing, just tears dripping from their eyes and a small sniffle every now and then. After a moment, they collected themself, and stood up. The tears in their eyes hadn’t subsided, but at least they weren’t frowning too hard anymore. They walked swiftly and silently to the restaurant. 

The doors were silent as they slipped through them, and the stairs barely creaked. The restaurant was empty and dark, confetti and balloons still scattered around from the party earlier that night. They pushed past the stuff to the kitchen.

Izuru’s hand met the cold metal of the fridge’s handle and they carefully swung it open. Light poured out, and they had to squint before their eyes adjusted. They quickly located the cake, and took it out. They unwrapped the plastic wrap from around it and cut themselves a piece. 

They weren’t going to eat it, in the end. If they ate it, they would spoil Hajime’s appetite for breakfast, and it would be harder for them to fall back asleep, and Hajime would wake up from their restlessness. 

But even still. They slipped the slice of cake on a plate and found a green candle that was previously used. They stuck it in the slice and found a pack of matches. They carried their plate out to the restaurant, even though there wasn’t anyone waiting for them. They put the plate down on the table, and sat in the seat Hajime had sat in. 

Pathetically, they opened the matches, struck one, and lit the candle. Pathetically, they shook out the match and stared at the candle’s small flame as the wax dripped down the side. Pathetically, they closed their eyes, made a wish, and blew the flame out. 

Perhaps they shouldn’t be celebrating. Izuru’s creation was on some other day besides Hajime’s. But, they were never told when. And even if they knew, they doubted such a wonderful cake would be available for them to pathetically stare at in the middle of the night, in a restaurant that was once bustling with activity. 

A restaurant where Hajime Hinata sat, grinning, with all of his friends around him. A restaurant where a countdown was going down on a computer that Chiaki’s recovered AI was on, watching and celebrating with everyone else as Hajime blew out the candles at the count of 1. 

Hajime’s birthday was a happy day, filled with new beginnings and hopes for the future.

Izuru’s creation day was filled with despair, greed, and neglect. 

They stood up quietly, the legs of the chair scraping the floor. They took the candle and wiped off the cake crumbs and frosting, putting it in the pocket of their sleep shorts. They carried the plate to the kitchen and wrapped the cake slice in a paper towel before throwing it into the trash. They cleaned off the dish and put it back in the cabinet. They wrapped the cake back up in plastic wrap and stuck it back in the fridge. They put the pack of matches back in the drawer the candle had come in.

They left the restaurant, quietly, silently.

They reentered Hajime’s cabin, taking off their sleepwear and putting the binder and Yukata back on. They sat on the edge of the bed.

Izuru sighed, lying down on the bed. They allowed their eyes to slip closed. 

_Someday,_ they promised themselves, _someday you won’t need to hide anymore._

They receded back from the front, creeping back into the edges of their and Hajime’s “shared” mind.

How boring, how stupid, how pathetic it was to be scared of someone weaker than you. 

~

  
  


Nagito Komaeda watched with tired, confused eyes as the cabin door across from him closed before he could look and identify who had entered the room.

**Author's Note:**

> Little note! When Hajime goes to sleep, his consciousness is asleep. So as long as Izuru doesn’t wake up Hajime’s consciousness he’s free to front and control their body lol.


End file.
